Hetalia: Karansebes
by Lordriochi
Summary: This is the tale of the greatest military achievement of the Austrian Empire- not! This story is based on the Battle of Karansebes, before the nation of Germany came into existence. Oneshot


Hetalia: Karansebes

AN: This is a one shot based on a massive military blunder from the Austrian Empire.

* * *

><p>Karansebes, Romania, 1788<p>

A small band of scouts were moving across the plains in Karansebes. The scouts were from the Austrian Empire, one of the most powerful and influential imperial powers in Europe. At this time, they were at war with the Ottoman Empire, a Middle Eastern Empire that had tried to expand into Europe many times, but it was repelled each time by the European armies. The Austrian Empire would keep this status quo as long as it stood, so their army was camped around the city of Karansebes, just in case the Turks tried to even invade. Unfortunately, the Austrian forces were defeated in a short battle. However, they were not defeated by Ottoman hands, but their own linguistic barriers had ruined their plans. This is the tale of the event.

Among the scouting parties sent to patrol the countryside of the city, the personification of Hungary, was there to help the soldiers. She was quite bored and groggy. The Hungarian was not very keen on night patrol. It took her all her experience to keep herself from slumbering on the saddle of her horse. If only if she could. But lately, she had been suffering a nightmare about Attila taking her ears. Hungary shivered at the thought. There was no sign of the Turks, thankfully. As her scouting group swiftly galloped across the plains, they found a trio of people with an ass dragging a covered wagon. They looked like gypsies. She rode up to them ahead of her group, just to see if they were not Ottomans in disguise. They were small caravan and the group of hussars [Hungarian horsemen] met.

"You there, gypsy, what goods do you have?" Hungary inquired. She was suspicious of the wagon. "Milord, this wagon has the blessing of alcohol." The oldest gypsy responded. He removed the blanket from the top of the wagon, revealing five barrels. The other two nomads opened all the barrels for the scouts to see. They were all filled with dark liquid. Hungary took a metal cup out of her backpack and scooped some of the liquid into it. She took a small sip. A bitter yet sweet taste filled her mouth. 'Most definitively schnapps,' Hungary thought.

"Sires, do you want to buy these schnapps?" The gypsies asked. Hungary looked at her men. They looked very interested in buying the alcohol. As for herself, she needed to have some fun! It wouldn't hurt to get a barrel or two!

* * *

><p>One hour later<p>

Hungary felt so jovially drunk. She dipped her cup in the second barrel of schnapps, giggling like a lunatic. The Hungarian sat around her men, some of them completely exhausted from downing shots from the barrels. As she gulped another cup full of schnapps, another scouting party met up with Hungary's. "We want some of that beer!" They demanded. Hungary laughed. There was no way she and her boys were going to give up these barrels. Her men agreed with her and denied the other scouts any of the alcohol. The Hessian infantry walked up to the drunken hussars, attempting to intimidate them. In response to how close they were, Hungary and the drunken hussars fortified their position with four empty barrels.

"How dare you not share, you greedy Hungarian pigs! We are taking what is ours!" One of the men on the other scouting party furiously said. The same person pulled a flintlock and fired near the hussars' "defensive position". Suddenly, nearly everyone in Hungary's squad, who were not drunk into unconsciousness, gave a collective death glare towards the other group. Immediately after that, Hungary was in a massive brawl with her hussars against the Hessians. She was wailing her fists onto one of them. A rifle stock whacked her in the back her head. She landed onto the ground. Seeing that her attacker was going to stab her, she quickly rolled away from his bayonet attack. She pulled out her flintlock, training it on the assailant. Before she fired, the Romanians among the Hessian infantry began to cry out "Turcii, Turcii!"

"The Ottomans are here, RUN!" Many of the Hungarians cried out. Both scouting parties ran back to base, leaving Hungary dazed in the cloud of panic. She looked at the direction where she heard the ear piercing shot. Her vision was blurry, but she could see a massive force of horsemen was charging through the darkness towards her. Fully terrified, Hungary got back on her horse, joining her fleeing men. She must warn Austria, NOW!

"Törökök, Törökök!" She cried out to the other Hussar scouts. They heeded her word and began to flee as well. As her men retreated back to the base, the troops that they were with followed the calvary back to their back. The officers among the retreating troops tried to bring them back under control because there was no Ottomans attacking, but to no avail.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile in the Austrian camp.<p>

"What is that noise?" One of the Austrian generals said. "Sentries, what is going on?" The five of the guards defending the east of the base reported to the officer. "Sir, it seems like the Ottomans are attacking!" The general was astonished. "What the- get the cannon teams to the east wall. Prepare to fire at the savages!" The Austrians prepared their cannons. Heavy iron balls were placed inside the cannons. The ammunition was shoved in with long poles. The gunpowder was added and the fuses were lit. Soon after, eighty massive blasts of artillery rained upon the 'Ottomans'.

* * *

><p>"Wat ist los?" Austria woke up in his bed. He had held his ringing ears. Wait a minute, cannon fire? They were under attack! The ebony haired Austrian put on his round lens glasses and dressed himself quickly in his military gear. Before he could get to his sword, a horse rammed through his tent, toppling him into his bed.<p>

* * *

><p>Hungary's heart was leaping with adrenaline. Austria's own men had fired the panicked crowd of scouts! Those morons were firing too soon! When they were fired upon, her horse was galloping madly through the base. Petrified with terror, she had to hope that her horse would calm down. Much to her horror, she was going to ram into a tent. She was thrown off her horse, collapsing on top of a wagon.<p>

* * *

><p>Austria threw the tarp off his body and retrieved his sword. 'Where was the coward?' He furiously thought. He could hear the Ottomans in the camp, letting out their cries of war in the darkness. He gripped his sword tightly and began to strike. He fought bravely, but the Ottomans were in overwhelming odds. In every shadow more appeared. They could not be defeated.<p>

He began to fall back, clashing his blade against any opponent who tried to stop him. Before he could get out, he found Hungary unconscious. He placed his bloodied sword into his sheath and he carried her into his arms. He finally reached his horse and placed Hungary in the front of the back of the saddle. Austria took the reins of his steed and rode as fast as lightning. He was joined up with several survivors of the massacre in the camp.

* * *

><p>The next day<p>

"Ó, a fejem!" Hungary groaned. She felt like a hammer was smashing her head open. Hungary's eyes opened to see the ground moving. "I see that you are finally awake, Liebling." The Hungarian woman realized that she was lying on top of a saddle of horse. She moved from her stiff position, getting her body to sit on the saddle behind the Austrian man. He sniffed at her breath and coughed. "Ungarn, why do you smell like... alcohol?" Hungary replied back with a sense of nervousness. "What do you mean, Ausztria? I was not drinking last night!" Austria turned to her, giving her a sincere look of rage. He could see through her lie.

"Don't lie to me Hungary. I have seen you drunk before and if you were not drinking last night, you would not have such a colour in your cheeks, ja? Explain to me how did you get to a drunken stupor last night." Hungary sighed. She could have, but her memory was blurry from last night. It didn't help that she now had a splitting headache.

* * *

><p>Historical Notes:<p>

The Battle of Karansebes was in the military campaign of the Holy Roman Emperor, Joseph II. He was at war with the Ottoman Empire, a massive threat to Europe since medieval times. By winning the campaign against the Ottomans, it would be a massive victory for the Austrians. His army in the campaign was made up of Italians, Austrians, Romanians, Slavs and Germanic peoples. His army had set up camp in Karansebes, now known as Caransebes, in Romania.

Several scouting parties were sent to detect any Ottoman intruders during the nights. On one fateful night, a group of Hungarian hussars [horsemen] had encountered a group of Romani gypsies. These people gave the scouts some barrels of alcohol, leading to the men getting very drunk. When the drunken scouts were met with another scouting party, they did not want to share their spoils. This resulted in an 18th century version of a bar fight, until the men on both sides started to panic as they believed that the Ottomans were attacking.

When they retreated, they had warned other scouting parties to the nonexistent threat, causing them to panic as well. The officers of the other scouting parties could not control their men as they did not speak in a common language. When the crowd of scouts was running back to their base, the guards in the camp had mistaken them for being Ottomans and fired into the crowd.

This created panic as the scouts were even more terrified and when they entered their base, they created mass hysteria, causing a larger friendly fire incident and a massive retreat as well as Joseph II had been pushed into a creek. When the dust settled by morning, one 10th of the Austrian army was wiped out in the night.

* * *

><p>Translations:<p>

Romanian

Turcii-Turks

Hungarian

Ausztria-Austria

O a fejem- My head

German

Ungarn-Hungary

Was ist los? - What is going on?


End file.
